NPR Humor
So this morning, just like every other morning, I was driving to my office listening to a little of the old NPR. They covered two things this particular morning that made me giggle with glee like a school girl. The first was a bit where this political expert was talking about the possible candidates for the Secretary of the Treasury. One particular candidate, according to this expert, was described as the “Exact opposite as Obama when it comes to speaking” and is a bit of a gruff fellow who “Uses the F-word as a comma.” I laughed. Then I had a vision of working with someone who would do that.
Guy: “So here is the thing today folksFUCK I want JanetFUCK BobFUCK and Steve to go to MinneapolisFUCK ST. PaulFUCK and St. Joe to find out if those people are interested in our product line: The WidgetFUCK The Blow up Doll FUCK and the Bible.”
I like how it reads.
The second was this bit on Story Corps where this famous story teller, his first name is Studs, had the Corps drop the booth at his house, right before he died, so that he could record a story. If you are unfamiliar with this concept I will expalin it to you. Story Corps is this not for profit THING where they take this recording booth around the country, they have already done the lower 48 states, and invite anyone to sit in the booth for a few mintues and tell a story about their life that they find significant. The results are marvelous and often times tear jerking.
Studs’ final story was one where he spoke about the human voice and how it is no longer being used anywhere. I could never tell the story the way that he did but his point was clear. When you call someone now you get a robotic voice to tell you information. When you get ona tram or train, it is a robotic voice that tells you what to do and where you are going. So his question made me laugh, in a meloncholy sort of way, because he was correct. When did it become wrong to have a real human tell you about things in a real human sort of way?
The Guy up for Secretary of the Treasury would be my pick. “Get on the Fuckin train you dumbass, the doors are closing.” It sure would get my attention.
All Things Considered.
On my way to the office every morning I enjoy a cup of coffee and National Public Radio(NPR). I have always enjoyed NPR as they seem to put the least amount of spin on their news stories - which I appreciate. Furthermore NPR is normally good at avoiding stupid news stories, like what Paris Hilton had for dinner, choosing to focus more on what I like think is real news. The catch is lately real news is all about the political race for the President of the United States between Barrack Obama and John McCain. Oddly enough, I have been paying some attention to the musings of the radio on this topic as in most instances I have to if I still want to listen to my beloved NPR.
On to my problem. The Media in the United States of America, be it crooked or honest, still can only report on what information is out there. What I mean by this is that manufacturing news is bad for business thus they need to wait for a story to break. Yes a news station can break a story with their own flair added to, with their chosen light if you will, but at the root of it all there still must be a story. This is where the problem is for me on the Political Conventions. There is no story.
Let me fill you in. The Democratic Convention happened last night in Denver. Barrack Obama, the Democratic Candidate, wasn’t even there. He was in my town, Kansas City, at some friend’s house. He did appear at the Convention via satellite for a bit, but the only part that could be directly linked to him that was at the convention was his wife, who gave her first speech, which apparently included loads of statements about how great Hillary Clinto is - still trying to mend that tear in the Democratic Party I see. Beyond that we here Obama saying the same things over and over again - “We need Change. McCain and I are different, I swear! I am just like all of you.” Problem with the last bit is this - a person cannot be like everyone, unless of course he is referring to how he is a human, in which case, bravo sir, you are correct.
How about McCain? The big news on McCain these days, which to me is hysterical, is that he owns so many houses that he lost count. Seriously. A guy who is trying to connect with the people, and blue collar workers are a big deal when it comes to elections, has so much money that he owns so many houses that he lost count. How can a candidate possibly connect with anyone who has a hard time with their only mortgage when he can’t even remember how many houses he owns outright? Much akin to his opponent McCain wants us to know that he is different, well, different from El Presidente Bush that is. Seems his camp figured out that most people look at him as Bush Light. Or Bush 3 The sequal to a dead series.
There are other sparks of news - like both candidates have selected their running partners. Oh wait! No they haven’t! Only Barrack Obama has in the form of Senator Joe Biden. It seems that McCain’s party is having a difficult time figuring out who he should choose. At one point a few stations were talking about how he doesn’t even agree with his handlers, er, staff. He threw some names out there and some of them grimaced, others coughed, one even guffawed!
I guess my only reason for writing this article is this: we really don’t hear about the important things anymore - the ISSUES. We hear about where these guys go, who the eat with, who they meet with, we hear loads of slander of which neither party appears to be above, although the Republicans seem to be better at it. We hear about running mates, and potentials and hopefuls. We hear about conflicts abroad - the ones that have a media impact anyway. We hear about the Olympics and how George Bush was there, and his lovely speech where he made up even more words. We hear about Obama being some blue collar kid who grew up borderline poor and how McCain is a war hero, again and again and again. What kills me though is this: we never hear about what anyone actually stands for. We gets hints here and there, but not the precise information.
I wish someone would release a listing on their beliefs, maybe a website somewhere has that information. You read about both candidates, their beliefs side by side in column format. You could go zipping down the listing to the issues that are important to you and actually see what they believe in. Crazy thoughts!
The Elephant in the Room
Ever heard of Fannie Mae? Freddie Mac? I had heard of them, but until two days ago I didn’t really realize why they were important. (The links I have provided point to write-ups done on these two corporations dating back several years, prior to the housing bubble bursting.) Prior to learning about them I had just assumed that they were a couple of gender specifically named investment firms. I am a person who will freely admit when he is wrong, if it happens, which is rare, just ask my wife, and on my assumption about Fannie and Freddie, well I couldn’t have been any more off target.
So who are they and why are they important? Let me start off by telling a small story. A coupld of days ago MoMagic did his quarterly post on our site about global warming. MoMagic’s posts are typically polically charged, amazingly well written, and always a joy to read. Just prior to leaving my office for my arduous drive home, I took a stab at reading his article and then grabbed up my things while pondering the world I live in. I made my way to my car and turned on National Public Radio (NPR), my favorite station just in time to hear their bit on Fannie and Freddie.
Here is what I learned:
1) Fannie and Freddie Mac are the two largest investors in the housing market in the United States of America.
2) Collectively they hold over 50% of the home loans in America.
3) Collectively they have over 5.1 Trillion Dollars in assets. Yes, Trillion.
Now these are not my facts, this is what was said on NPR. They then went on to talk about something that scared me further, realize I was already alarmed to a point considering I have been following the housing market and its demise quite avidly, being from California one tends to. The thing that grabbed me was a statement about how some people aren’t sure who is running who - Is Congress running Fannie and Freddie or is it the other way around?
Think that through for a minute. Close your eyes and imagine the Jeopardy music playing in the background. Alex Trebek can twiddle his thumbs or just try to look as pompous as ever while your brain searches for the fear that I just put to screen.
Got it? Here is the Elephant in the Room that nobody wants to talk about - Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are so big, and so involved in politics, that the possibility of their demise basically means the downfall of our economy. This is not some lighthearted attempt to scare the crap out of adults during some late night bed time story. If these two go under you end up with 5.1 Trillion dollars of oh my god. The question then is how is this even possible? Furthermore how can we prevent it?
Ladies and Gentlemen, as NPR put it this morning, I direct you to the French Revolution Era. During that time Government was directly involved in the business affairs of her citizens. The United States of America, a Federal Republic, has a government that is supposed to help regulate business affairs but is also supposed to let much of business just do her thing, we being a capitalist economy and such. Given this fact, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were financially backed by the government to assist people with buying a home. Many people consider them to be borderline non-profit organizations. So why then have these two financial machines been able to poor so much money into politics? why have they been giving out bonuses to their employees to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars per yer? How have they been able to do both of those things while they were on their way to belly-up land?
Simple. Yesterday the Secretary of the Treasury asked for a blank check to buy as much of these two companies in stock as possible. See their stocks both dropped 25% yesterday on the news that they may both die a tragic death. This just leads to further problems for the companies, and if we factor in politics, and the economy, now is the time for our Monarchy, er, Government to step in and help them by buying up as much of both of them as possible. Cue the Jeopardy music again. THE GOVERNMENT IS LOOKING TO BUY COMPANIES THAT OWN OVER 50% OF THE HOME MORTGAGE LOANS IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. In other words, the government is now directly involved with the economy. As NPR put it, welcome to the path to Socialism! Have a good day, Comrades.