Hit Me Like a Ton of Pork
Let’s face it - most statistics force-fed the masses by the media nowadays fall into two categories:
A. Well, duh. (ex. Bush approval rating)
B. Who the hell cares? (i.e. the “MLB Stats Overkill” - did you know that Rich Ballplayer is the fourteenth player since 1975 to hit 25+ homers, have 20+ stolen bases, have an OBP of .400+, green eyes, and a sagging right testicle? Well, you ignorant f*ck, now you know)
However, sometimes they sneak up on you or are delivered unconventionally. A perfect example is a recent Newsweek article I read about the Chipotle burrito food chain. I had a burrito there once (killer coupon), and it was good. Not $6 good, but a step above Taco Bell. If you hadn’t heard of Chipotle, I’d understand; I had totally forgotten about them until this article. Apparently they are really into free-range pork, allegedly the humane way of raising pigs. I think it involves a lot of happy Porky’s frolicing on grassy hills. Imagine a curly-tailed Sound of Music with a lot more grunting.
So Chipotle is buying 10,000 pounds of pork a week from these farms. That is 7% of their total pork needs. This works out to over 140,000 pounds a week total.
Whoah.
OK, so maybe I’m a little late to the “Fast Food Nation/Omnivore’s Dilemma” outrage party, but holy sh*t that is a lot of pig. Chipotle isn’t even in the top 10 or so of American fast food chains (I refuse to whittle down the category to “luxury fast foods” or some other lame granularity). Can you imagine how much chicken Taco Bell goes through? or McDonald’s beef? I could look it up, but frankly I’m scared shitless even thinking about it.
Most importantly, where’s our “Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome” process that solves all of our energy problems with pig feces? Not one sci-fi movie and related concept I enjoyed as a kid has come to fruition. How depressing.
