In the Words of Mr. Big, I’m Addicted to that Rush
I fully intended on writing an article on how I got kicked out of a Oakland Athletics game last week as a participant in a friend’s bachelor party. Let’s just say the stereotype of the fuck-up future brother-in-law (relentlessly propagated by sitcoms over the years) is 100% accurate. Furthermore, alcohol was involved - but I guess that goes without saying. The groom in question, major-league shnockered at the time, is one of the six readers of this blog and is a modest man. Also, non-violently getting ejected from a sporting event is actually not as exciting as you might think. I’ll leave it at that.
Instead, I will direct my attention to one of my favorite (and much more popular) fucksticks, Mr. Rush Limbaugh. Maybe you read about his kick-ass new contract for (ahem) $38 million a year for the next eight effing years. Also, we can’t overlook his claim of a 9-figure signing bonus. That’s >$100 million, in case you were rubbing your eyes in amazement at the first figure and missed the second. Let’s crunch the numbers, assuming no vacation:
More money than a small, starving third-world country in order to basically lie through his teeth part-time.
This is not unheard of money - Howard Stern is getting paid more overall, $400 million vs. $500 million, and that shallow hack doesn’t deserve it either. But at least he is “entertainment”, and is promoted as such. Oh wait he has a “controversial” position on free speech - he is pro. Way to go out on a limb, Howard. Next you’ll tell us you’re against nun-beatings. The bottom line is, you can’t take him seriously. He’s like the horniest clown ever. On the other hand, there are millions of gullible listeners that hang on Rush’s every word. When he says Michael J. Fox is faking his Parkinson’s Disease symptoms, they may laugh nervously but then wonder if it’s true. When he says Republicans should vote for Hillary to drag out the primaries, this isn’t just Howard Stern telling two lesbians to french kiss. This is a extremely influential political figure commanding his 14 million viewers to cornhole America. Here is more great Rush insight. The only influence Howard Stern has is the ability to maybe give someone a boner. If Limbaugh has that influence over you, then welcome to CrazyTown you sick twist. If you are a woman, then I applaud your pathetically low standards. Please email me with your contact info.
The recent trend is to point fingers at bloggers and their debatable “disregard for truth and ethics”, but at least they aren’t getting paid hundreds of millions of dollars to tell their readers that the NAACP should have “riot rehearsals”. Maybe a more important point should be raised regarding the media known as radio. If Rush Limbaugh and Howard Stern are the cornerstones of the industry, that may be a primary reason for its slow demise.
