Jean Claude Van Douchebag
The interview I am copying can be found here. It is like the dude just never got it.
He spoke to Sarah Ball:
What are you doing in Thailand?
I’ve been in the cutting room all night, working on a new film I’m directing called “Full Love.”
How ‘ s it coming?
Good. You go through that certain depression because the actors are all leaving, but they’re there now with me in the cutting room.
Why did you want to make a film that comments on your own life?
I made this just to show some of the internal side of J.C.V.D., in a way. He’s a guy, a normal guy from Belgium with dreams, and I did well in that type of path. At the age of 47, to take chances and go back to Europe and be talking to some studios there, I’m showing them that I believe I’m good quality.
There ‘ s a monologue in the film about being a washed-up action star. Did you improvise that?
I like structure—like driving: go past the school on the street, stay on the right side, no hitting the car, go in right, you’ll see a big church, stop and take a left, and you’ll have it. By doing this I’m giving a structure of life, a path of light, and showing what happens between me and me, which is something very beautiful.
Beautiful? Why?
I really opened myself up in “JCVD.” I peeled back the skin of the fruit, cut the pulp and then took that very hard seed. In this film I cut that hard seed, and inside that seed was a kind of liquid cream substance of the man I am, or the woman you are.
OK —
It was like being naked—I would love to be naked in front of you.
Well, I —
Not being naked being naked. I say such things in Hong Kong and they thought I was being a crazy Frenchman. Being naked of protection.
So you ‘ ve no regrets at all?
Believe me—I’ve done very good stuff and very crazy stuff, and I don’t regret the crazy stuff. So are you in New York?
Yes, I am.
And are you 27, or 32?
I ‘ m 22.
Oh, f–––. That is very young. Will you come to the premiere?
I don ‘ t know. When is it?
I don’t know. You will wear all black, a black dress and high heels?
Uh —
You can come find me, I will be the one with the very broad shoulders, dark hair and a simple suit. We can have some champagne, you and me.
TMQ with TMI
Tuesdays on ESPN.com, Gregg Easterbrook writes the “Tuesday Morning Quarterback” column, which is often tedious, rambling, and so undiluted as to be almost insurmountable. Nonetheless, his sports insight can be entertaining, but what I find interesting is that includes just as much non-sports commentary that is often smarter. An example from his latest:
Why Are Taxpayers Paying Lavish Bonuses to Retain the People Who Screwed Up AIG?
American International Group, the insurance giant that has swallowed $152 billion in federal subsidies in just a few months, “plans to pay $503 million in deferred compensation to some of its top employees, saying it must tap the funds to keep valuable workers from exiting the troubled insurance giant,” Carol Leonnig of The Washington Post reported a few days ago. I suspect all the gold being shoveled to AIG is a colossal blunder by the George W. Bush administration. Money to reinforce Fannie Mae or to buy stock in banks may or may not be a wise decision, but at least there is accountability regarding where the funds end up. The money being shoveled to AIG is simply vanishing — AIG isn’t even telling the Treasury Department what the money is for. When the General Services Administration buys pencils, many layers of auditors check the deal. Isn’t it a tad naive to think $152 billion can be entrusted to a firm with a demonstrated track record of financial mismanagement and that money is not going to be looted? The Treasury Department’s handling of AIG appears to be spectacular irresponsibility with public money.
The people who work here give away your money to the Wall Street rich. But they ask tough questions! Such as, “How much do you want?”
Now, about the $503 million in tax-subsidized bonuses to prevent “top employees” from “exiting the troubled insurance giant.” The top employees of AIG are the ones who drove the company into the ground by making crazy deals, taking on bad debt or promising to insure bad debt when they knew AIG lacked adequate collateral. Those “top employees” at AIG are either cheats or incompetents — we want them to leave! They haven’t demonstrated any financial expertise. Yet the same AIG top managers who did a terrible, terrible job are set to receive huge bonuses: an example of the problem that corporate bonuses are awarded regardless of performance.
Management-suite types often rationalize huge bonuses by threatening to jump to another job. What job exactly would a top AIG employee jump to? The financial services industry is contracting; lots of well-qualified people with strong résumés are out on the street; no financial firm in its right mind would hire a failed manager from AIG over the fully qualified financial managers looking for work. AIG top employees have no career options right now; it is inconceivable any other financial firms are offering them lavish raises to hire them away. So “retention bonuses” aren’t necessary. But either the Treasury Department is too dim-witted to realize this or it doesn’t care and is merely trying to redistribute wealth from the middle class to the rich by allowing tax-subsidized bonuses that the giveaway team at Treasury knows perfectly well are not merited.
Side note: You might think, “How could the fancy-degree top people at Treasury possibly be that completely, utterly stupid?” But Treasury officials have a self-interest in maintaining the assumption that financial managers should receive gigantic bonuses regardless of performance. Almost everyone at the top of Treasury came from the firms being bailed out, plans to return to such firms and wants to pocket gigantic bonuses regardless of performance. So not only is the Treasury Department acting irresponsibly with tax money but its top executives have a personal stake in irresponsible action.
Sure he’s just telling us what we are all thinking, but in a sports column? He is also very hard on NFL coaches, which is always music to my ears. For what its worth, extra-heavy mayo is straight-up diabolical.
O’Reilly vs. Stewart - uncut
OK, here’s the deal. He is trying so hard to be funny…I think. You be the judge. However, Papa Bear doesn’t say anything that really surprises you until the last 30 seconds. If he truly believes that object is what he thinks it is, then I am speechless.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
I have argued many times that Disney’s version of this tale is not a children’s film, and that somehow its rather adult storyline managed to squeak past the harbingers of what is right and pure in the Disney world. I also believe that The Hunchback of Notre Dame is one of the best Disney films ever made from a story telling and life lesson perspective, but not one of the most entertaining. This scene is arguabley the most adult scene in any Disney film.
The archdeacon in this scene sings about how he must have the Gypsy Esmeralda above all things or he will burn her to death. Irony rings in with the fact that the song refers to multiple types of fire: His own desires for the gypsy, her ability to bewitch men, and the burning of her to death. All of these are topics meant for children to be sure.
Comments Welcome. Enjoy.
Bob Newhart is a god.
Always loved this guy.
Dead Poet’s Society
If you have not seen this film, rent it.
Join today its almost as cheap as bacon.
Two Grumpy old men but funny as hell
NPR Humor
So this morning, just like every other morning, I was driving to my office listening to a little of the old NPR. They covered two things this particular morning that made me giggle with glee like a school girl. The first was a bit where this political expert was talking about the possible candidates for the Secretary of the Treasury. One particular candidate, according to this expert, was described as the “Exact opposite as Obama when it comes to speaking” and is a bit of a gruff fellow who “Uses the F-word as a comma.” I laughed. Then I had a vision of working with someone who would do that.
Guy: “So here is the thing today folksFUCK I want JanetFUCK BobFUCK and Steve to go to MinneapolisFUCK ST. PaulFUCK and St. Joe to find out if those people are interested in our product line: The WidgetFUCK The Blow up Doll FUCK and the Bible.”
I like how it reads.
The second was this bit on Story Corps where this famous story teller, his first name is Studs, had the Corps drop the booth at his house, right before he died, so that he could record a story. If you are unfamiliar with this concept I will expalin it to you. Story Corps is this not for profit THING where they take this recording booth around the country, they have already done the lower 48 states, and invite anyone to sit in the booth for a few mintues and tell a story about their life that they find significant. The results are marvelous and often times tear jerking.
Studs’ final story was one where he spoke about the human voice and how it is no longer being used anywhere. I could never tell the story the way that he did but his point was clear. When you call someone now you get a robotic voice to tell you information. When you get ona tram or train, it is a robotic voice that tells you what to do and where you are going. So his question made me laugh, in a meloncholy sort of way, because he was correct. When did it become wrong to have a real human tell you about things in a real human sort of way?
The Guy up for Secretary of the Treasury would be my pick. “Get on the Fuckin train you dumbass, the doors are closing.” It sure would get my attention.
Trick or Treat?
What would happen when you dress up a dummy and set it on peoples’ front porch? Well these two videos pretty much sum it all up for us.
The best part of this one comes at around 2:10.