Stupid People, The Zoo, and George Carlin
On Sunday, June 22nd, 2008 I had the opportunity to go to the zoo with my wife and son, he is 17 months old. Prior to leaving, and most of the time we were there, we discussed how taking our 17 month old son to the zoo was most likely a waste of time, considering his age. Most 17 month olds have a difficult time ascertaining the difference between a Rhinocerus and the rocks he is laying next to no matter how many times the parent says “Look Billy! Look! A Rhino!” Oddly enough our son came totally alive when he noticed two animals: The walking tree, AKA a Giraffe, and the walking building, AKA the Elephant.
I encountered a phenomenon at the zoo that both infuriated me and kicked off the stand up comedian side of my personality: Stupid People. Not only did the zoo seem to have an endless amount of caged animals, all of which looked at you as if they would be forever in your debt if you just put a slug between their eyes. but also a veritable cornucopia of stupid people. The only way I can convey just how stupid these people were is to site examples, but before I do that let me elaborate on something.
An Ignorant person is one who is neither educated nor informed about a topic. Intelligent ignorance comes from someone who not only recognizes that they do not know about a topic but is also willing to live up to the fact instead of playing it off as if they were a walking copy of the Encyclopedia Britannica. Stupid people on the other hand are people that actually cannot learn, no matter how many times Darwinism tries to teach them their daily lessons. Please note the difference as most of the stories you hear about on television, the radio, or perhaps read about in one of the fantastic grocery store checkout line magazines are almost always about stupid people.
So the zoo famous quotes of the day:
The same straw haired, single toothed, shallow gene pool reject of a mother said both of these too her two children who looked as if they could think of at least two things they’d rather be doing that sitting there with their mom, and one included each other.
- “Baboons and Monkeys are the same thing!”
- “Look at how ugly that Baboon is!”
This rather robust woman and her children argued for an entertaining 10 minutes about this:
- “I am telling you that is a bird!”
- “No it ain’t ma!”
- “Yes it is! Look its got wings!”
- “So Wings don’t mean it ain’t no bird!”
This one couple standing next to the Hippopotumus pool had a terribly ironic discussion regarding the hippos as both the couple and their children were the human equivalents of hippos:
- “They jus don wanna come out da water!”
- “Yea dey sure is slow ain’t dey!”
- “Yeah dey is slow and dumb! HAHAHAHAHA”
- “Stupid rhinos!”
As we walked through the zoo I found myself incredibly proud of the woman who read the sign that said “Do not walk in the road.” and pointed it out to her family. Think about that: I was proud that SOMEONE else besides my wife and I could read. What makes that worse was the amount of times I heard people say “I wonder what that animal is!?!?!” when they were standing next to a rather informative sign that said not only what it was but listed many of its characteristics. Simply put, as a species we are doomed. I wonder what a sign next to a paddock of humans would say - “Human Being. Stupid creature with the inability to realize that he is his own destruction.”
I woke up this morning, began making my son some homemade blueberry pancakes, when on the news they announced that George Carlin had passed away last night at the age of 71. Let me say that I loved George Carlin. I loved his attitude, his wit, his observational skills, and his delivery. Moreover, I would have loved to have had George with my family and I at the zoo yesterday just to listen him one last time. The material there wrote itself. Where ever you have gone George, know this: the world is a worse off place without you in it. I know this for a fact as the zoo sure as hell was.
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